Day 1: Finally!

A lot of things happened today, most of them happening before we even met the kids, but it was an experience that required me to be prepared for the unexpected. The LP for the lesson came later than I expected, and when I started working on the materials yesterday I found myself practically shoved into making materials and exercises, things I thought I'd never have to do after high school. It was a good feeling though, re-visiting activities that carried both fond and sad memories for me, but it was an even better feeling when my efforts were appreciated by Janice, the bright girl Kelly and I taught today.

However, my biggest realization today was how we are really worlds apart from these kids, not only in terms of living environments, but also in terms of knowledge. Seeing what Janice could and couldn't do, what she could and couldn't read or write really showed me, to my face, that the literacy problem not only exists, but is rampant. But beyond that, I also noticed that Janice was actually very enthusiastic about learning -- she read along to everything we taught her today, when things went flying she'd run and pick them up -- and above all, she wasn't afraid of making mistakes or saying "di ko alam", she'd say it while smiling.

Janice's enthusiasm is a mindset that I think is very important for any learner, regardless of level, because it's a mindset I never had as a kid. I had so many expectations growing up, as the daughter of professors, as a UP student, as the youngest in a family of UP-bred scholars. And ultimately, I think it's that pressure and those expectations that hindered my learning. I may have qualified for Diliman, I may constantly be US or CS standing, but even up to now I'm terrified of making mistakes, I'm terrified of saying the wrong thing in class, and in turn I neither improve or learn unless I know I'm good at it. But Janice wasn't afraid of making mistakes, and seeing that was kind of a "eureka" moment for me. My fear of mistakes not something I can change overnight, because as I said, it's a mindset formed by years of fear, but teaching Janice today is probably the first step in a long, long journey.